Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I think I have been neglecting my studies...

Alrighty then.....I believe it is time I really buckle down and "Git R done!!" if you know what I mean...I have been working SOOO long on this degree, but having to stop out for several years due to two more bouts of cancer with Bob - then the supporter/survivor depression as well as two moves, a change in jobs, picking a topic that is difficult for me, having 3 surgeries in two years myself...sigh...ok...want some crackers with that w(h) ine?!?!?! I need to finish - rather than excitement, it now feels like a monkey on my back. It is also difficult since my mom was my biggest fan - in everything I do - but she doesn't even know me these days....I actually am dreading seeing her on Mother's day - doesn't that sound awful? It just hurts too terribly bad...I was just telling someone the other day - Alzheimer's is a disastrous disease for so many reasons - but - having been with my husband through 3 primary cancers in the past 16 years and ALL the ramifications of surgery/ illness - like surprise career and income changes - illness hits more than your body....but anyway - I feel like we had SOME control - the choices we made for the best doctors - going to NYC to Sloan Kettering - treatment decisions -all of that...and Bob and I together worked through it all....but with Alzheimer's - the person you love is still in front of you - but not there at the same time - you need to grieve the loss of your loved one while they are still with you and you are alone in your battle against THEIR worse than the big C in my opinion. OK - off my soapbox about illness....I have to get to my is just tooooo tempting to be on the computer and NOT go on the net....arghhhhh....I think maybe I need a 12 step for the computer!!! YIKE-EEESSS!!! Later dude!


Manna said...

Oh, Maureen, I'm so sorry to hear about all that you have been going thru. I'll be thinking of you. {{{HUGS}}}

Wendy said...

Oh, I have been on my Big C Soapbox often enough to know how that feels! It's always sad to hear about one person having so much to bear in life, but you are such a strong person. Today is just a day where it is overwhelming, and you are allowed to pour the w(h)ine!!!

Hang in there! I'll be thinking of you on Mother's Day.

have a great day!

suzann said...

[[[[hugs]]]] You deserve to have a good whine!

I lost my mother to Alzheimer 2 years ago. I know what you are going through. It is so difficult and frustrating and sad and devastating. Alzheimer is the most horrible thing that can happen to the family.

I applaud you for still wanting to attain that goal of a college degree inspite of all the turmoil and challenges in your life!

louise said...

Big "Hugs" to you Reen, hope things improve for you.
Big Ups on still working towards your degree.... You Go Girl!

Alexandra said...

Hey girlie, here's BIG HUGS FOR YOU!!!!! You are not whining, you are venting which is why we are here!!! You are doing great - I can't wait to meet you at Convention!!!